Weddings in 2009 at a Record Low

According to the United States Census Bureau, weddings for people 18 and older dropped to the lowest point in over a hundred years. The number of people getting married in 2009 dropped to a record low with only 52% of those 18 and older saying they were married. This compares to 57% in 2000. Marriage rates have been declining for years due to the rise in divorce and the increase in unmarried couples living together. Regarding marriage among adults 25 to 34, 46.3% reported that they had never married, It is the first time that the share of unmarried young adults exceeded the 44.9% who are married. Demographers believe that the current economic downturn may be causing more younger adults to postpone marraige as many struggle to find work and resist making long term commitments. Mark Mather of the Population Reference Bureau states, "Given the scope of the recent recession, many more couples are likely to chose cohabitation over marraige in the coming years."
So given the financial pressure people are facing, why not live together first? Doesn't make sense to save money on rent by living together? And with the high divorce rate, should we try things out and make sure we are compatible before committing to marriage?
This makes sense to a lot of people, but the research on marriage does not support these ideas. Couples who wait to be married before being sexually active or living together have a significantly lower divorce rate compared to couples who live together first. Studies also consistently show that couples who live together have more problems with conflict resolution, agreeing on major issues they face, and financial unity compared to couples who marry first before living together or being sexually active. Most surprising to many people, couples who marry first report having a better sexual relationship than those who live together or have sex outside of marriage. Why? I believe the reason for this comes down to the significance of the unconditional committment a couples makes when they get married first. The couple getting married first are basicially saying that regardless of how you perform sexually, or how much money you make, or anything else I learn about you once we live together, I am committed to you unconditionally. This removes a lot of the pressure and insecurity couples who cohabitate have to deal with. If you are thinking of living together to try things out first, you are short changing your relationship and increasing the chance of failure.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul