Smart Phone Addiction

Recently I have been accused, and rightly so, of being a bit too attached to my iphone.  According to a survey by Wikia, at least 50% of young people are actively connected at least 10 hours per day, and one in four are connected within 5 minutes of waking up.  A study in 2011 found that when young people unplugged from technology for just 24 hours, the vast majority reported experiencing physical and mental symptoms of distress.  You may joke about being "addicted to your phone, but unfortunately, the symptoms of technology addiction could really be adding stress to your life.  And then I came across a study that suggests 6 signs that your smart phone is stressing you out.  So read on and ask yourself if you are a bit too attached to your's:

1.  When your phone goes off and you have to respond right away.
If unanswered texts or emails raise your heart rate, there's a good chance that your smartphone is adding stress to your life rather than making it easier.  If you are constantly interrupting what you're doing, whether its doing school work or spending quality time with your family or friends to check your phone, it might be a sign that your behavior has become compulsive.
2.  You have Phantom Cellphone Syndrome.
This is when you think your phone is vibrating in your pocket, but when you take it out, the phone was never activated.This experience is a real sign of technology addiction and it's more common than you think.  A study conducted at Indiana University found that 89% of undergrads had experienced nonexistent cellphone vibrations.
3.  You Have a Bad Case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).
Are you constantly thinking about what everyone else is doing and all the things you might be missing out on at any given moment?  Does scrolling through party photos and enthusiastic weekend updates on your New Feed make you feel sad or anxious?  Then you have FOMO.  You especially can experience this when you aren't able to use or get to your phone for an extended period time.
4. You Feel Restless When You Are Away From Your Phone.
This is where you experience withdrawal symptoms when you can't check your phone or respond to messages.  Studies have found that some people have symptoms similar to those experienced by drug addicts.
5.  You Aren't Paying Attention to Friends and Family
You are with your family or friends, and your phone goes off.  Instead of ignoring it, you answer or respond.  Or you find yourself checking your email or social media in the middle of dinner or some other time when you are with other people who are important to you.
6.  Poor School Performance.
If you're having an increasing difficult time focusing in class and eagerly await the ringing of the bell you that you can check your phone and return that unanswered text, an internet or smartphone addiction could be one reason for low grades.
So how did you do?  If you are like me, you realize that maybe you are a little too attached.  Just reading these can be convicting!  So what do you do about it?  If you find yourself going to bed looking at your phone, and then looking at it as soon as you get up, don't put your phone on your bedside table.  Keep it away from your bed. During the course of your day, set certain times when you will look at your phone or get on social media, and make it a point not to use your phone when you are with other people you care about.  Feeling restless? Use a coping mechanism like taking a deep breath or going for a walk to help you cope.  You can also get an app that will block your phone and online activity while you are in school or doing homework.

Time to go, I have to answer my phone.

Blessings,
Dr. Paul

The Man Cave

Last week I attended the Wildfire Men's weekend with my sons and my mother-in-law's husband.  It was great to be with them, and at an event celebrating what it means to be a man, and a man who seeks to love God and his family.  Let me tell you, this event was all testosterone.  From the guys of the Power Team bending rebar with their teeth and bare hands, to a paint ball arena, to displays for hunting, fishing, knives, the NRA, responsible investing, to seminars on self-defense, extreme sports, being a better husband and father, this weekend was like one big man cave.  Speakers included Tim Tebow and Willie Robertson (from the reality show Duck Dynasty). No flowers, no butterflies, and no feminizing of Christianity.  The theme verse for the weekend was Nehemiah 4:14, Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes. 
I believe that because men have not always been the godly leaders of their home and church, that the church has lost its edge, its courage, and we have replaced a manly Jesus with one who sings Kumbaya and picks daisies.  We also live in a society where it is ok to deride men.  Just look at many shows on TV today.  Men are portrayed as bungling idiots who need their wives, girlfriends, or kids to save them from themselves.  Men are viewed as weak cowards, not strong leaders. 
It is time to bring a healthy correction to the church and our society's view of men.  We need to acknowledge the unique, complementary, and important roles of both women and men.  This week I was talking to a young man who grew up without his dad present.  He entered into a life of violence and crime, but thankfully God has gotten ahold of him and he is seeking to become the father to his kids he never had.  A few years ago I was a speaker at Sandy Cove Ministries and a woman approached me afterward seeking some advice.  She came with her grandson hoping he would benefit from the great program they have for kids.  She spoke of the problems he was having at home and school, getting into fights, disrespecting his mom.  Do you know what the first question I asked her?  Where is Dad? Her reply, He left the family.  There, in a nutshell, was the basis of this boys problems. 
I was blessed to have a dad who loved me, spent time with me, and sought to be a godly example to me.  Now that he is in heaven, I have a big hole in my life and my heart.  Driving home, I thought about how great it would be to tell him about our time at Wildfire and show him some of the pictures.  That will have to wait, but in the mean time, I can carry on his legacy of manhood and seek to be the kind of dad to my sons that he was to me. 
I think it is time we men take to heart passages like Nehemiah 4:14 and be who God has created us, and called us to be.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul