Who Has the Best Sex?

So who has the best sex, the single person who seeks out the next hook-up, the couple who live together, or the married couple?  The answer may surprise you, it is the married couple.  And it's not just the young married couple.  According to the researchers at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, married people have sex much more than single people.  According to their research, 61% of singles had not been intimate in the last 12 months, compared to only 18% of married couples.  According to research reported in the Journal of Marital Therapy, married couples with an active sex life report higher levels of satisfaction in their marriage, and in life.  Couples who had less frequent sex have lower relationship satisfaction. In the report "Sexuality in Marriage, Dating, and Other  Relationships:  A Decade Review," and published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, married couples have higher levels of sexual satisfaction.  Singles and cohabiting couples report much lower levels of sexual satisfaction.  According to a survey conducted by iVillage, love is enough to turn on married couples, 59 % of women, and 50% of men state that love for their spouse is enough to get them turned on.  The same survey found that sex became more predicable after marriage, and this is not a bad thing for most men and women. According to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, a surprising number of couples who have been together for more than 50 years are having more sex.  Mature married couples say that frequent and satisfying sex are one of the reasons they have a better marriage and happiness in life in general.

It is very interesting to me that, once again, the secular research here actually supports a biblical view of sexuality.  We learn from the Scriptures that God created us as sexual beings, and sex is meant to be enjoyed, and not just for procreation (Proverbs 5:15-21; Song of Solomon; 1 Corinthians 7:1-7).  Our Creator, knowing how sex works best, places sex within the context of heterosexual marriage (Genesis 2:24-25; Proverbs 18:22; Mark 10:6-9; Romans 1:18-27, Hebrews 13:4).  I think God does this for two reasons, to protect and to provide. He wants to protect us from physical and emotional harm.  And He wants to provide the best place for our sexuality to thrive.  What difference does a marriage commitment make for a couple's sex life?  When a couple  to each other in marriage first, they are making an unconditional promise and commitment to each other, that no matter what, they are in this relationship for life.  When a couple have that unconditional commitment, they are saying that no matter what happens in the bedroom, they are here to stay.  This means that sex is no longer a test, but is now a beautiful expression of the life-long, trusting, loving relationship. Sex thrives in the context of trust and unconditional commitment.  It changes the relationship from, "if you love me, you will let me be intimate with you" to "I love you, period." Having this provides the basis for greater oneness in not only in the bedroom, but in every aspect of a couple's relationship.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul