Steps to Overcoming Anger

One of the best books on Anger is Uprooting Anger by Robert D. Jones.  I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants a solidly biblical answer to the problem of anger.  In chapter 5 of his book he outlines a number of steps to overcoming anger.  Here is a condensed version of his steps.
1.  Repent of evil desires that produce your angry behavior and and receive God's forgiving, enabling grace.  As we have demonstrated, the problem you have with anger is not with the people and situations around you, it is a problem rooted in the depths of who you are, your heart.
2.  Own responsibility for your angry behavior and identify it as evil before God and man.  Don't shift the blame to others, own it, see yourself for who you are, a self-centered, selfish person who demands that you get your own way.  Don't make excuses, see it for what it is.
3.  Confess and renounce your angry behavior before God and others.  Start with God (Psalm 51:4) and then go to those who have been on the receiving end of your anger (Matthew 7:3-5).  Remember the promise of 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
4.  Believe anew in Christ and His gospel promises to angry people.  Jesus died for hotheaded sinners like you, and the same grace enabled Christ to die for your sins also can empower you to get a handle on your anger.
5.  Commit yourself to taking active, concrete steps to replace your angry behavior with Christlike words and actions. God's word is full of verses to help you take these steps:
For self-control look to Proverbs 16:32, 25:28, 29:11, Galations 5:23, for godly speaking look to Proverbs 10:19-21, 31-32, 12:18, 15:1, Ephesians 4:25-32, for peace making look to Matthew 5:9, 23-26, 18:15-17, 21-35, Luke 17:3-4,  Romans 12:18, 14:19, 2 Timothy 2:22.
6. Establish and carry out a workable temptation plan.  Here Jones makes three addition helpful suggestions.  First, avoid unnecessary occasions that tempt you to show anger.  Second, remove yourself, as quickly as possible, from explosive situations.  And third, in the midst of temptation, ask Christ for strength and give thought to verses which you have committed to memory that can help you combat the temptation.
7. Continue to prayerfully study Scripture and Scripture based resources, on relevant topics.  Two suggestions are Ken Sande's The Peacemaker, and Wayne Mack's Your Family, God's Way.

I have only provided a brief recounting of these steps and have added some comments about each one.  I encourage you to get a copy of Jones' book and read about them in more detail.

Blessings,
Dr. Paul