The Power of Forgiveness

     I spend a lot of time reading various journals and articles describing the latest research on marriage and family.  Over the years I have found it fascinating how many secular studies wind up confirming insights and principles found in the Bible.  The latest of these has to do with the role of forgiveness in marriage.  I happen to be certified to use a marriage and pre-marital evaluation tool called Prepare-Enrich.  This tool was developed by Dr. David Olsen, a faculty member of the University of Minnesota.
     One of the relationship categories this tool measures is forgiveness, the ability of the couple to give and receive forgiveness following a hurt, conflict, or betrayal.  After thousands of these evaluations, here is what the Prepare-Enrich team has concluded:
"Forgiveness has been found to be a very significant component in the relationships of happy couples. In a study of over 7,000 married couple who took PREPARE/ENRICH, 87% of Vitalized couples (a vitalized couple has a very strong relationship with a very low probability of divorce) had high scores in forgiveness indicating it to be a relationship strength.  Devitalized couples (a devitalized couple has a very poor relationship with a high probability of divorce) had low scores in forgiveness indicating this was a growth area in their relationship."
     What Dr. Olsen is pointing out is that strong couples have a higher ability to give and receive forgiveness.  And this happens to line up with one of the most important relationship principles of the Bible.  Scripture is full of references to the importance and power of forgiveness.  In Colossians 3:12-13 Paul says, "Put on then, ... compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Try applying this truth to your marriage and you will find yourself in a much stronger relationship.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul