The other day I saw a commercial for a new way to deal with your unruly, defiant child. The little boy in the commercial talks about how destructive he can be around the house and demonstrates it by breaking things, pouring out a container of milk on the floor, etc., just because he feels like doing it. He says he has to behave better now. Why? Did Mom and Dad have a talk with him about his behavior and their plan to deal with it? Or did they consult with a counselor, their pediatrician, their pastor, or some other trusted person? No, instead they bought a set of "Dropcams." A Dropcam is a small, digital camera you can place in various locations around your home to keep an eye on what's happening live or by recording the activity. The little boy says that since the cameras have been installed, his behavior is so much better.
There is nothing new installing cameras around your home to protect yourself from theft or vandalism. And the "Nanny Cams" have been around for quite a while now to keep an eye on the babysitter. But the thrust of this commercial is different. It's about spying on your child as a means to change his or her bad behavior. My initial reaction was, "whatever happened to developing your child's character? Or reaching your child at his or her heart level so that they will learn self-control even when you are not present. Or how about simple trust between you and your children?" I find this troubling on so many levels. A child needs meaningful time spent with Mom and Dad, not a camera looking over their shoulder. My wife and I had a very effective tool for knowing when the kids were getting into trouble, silence. Whenever it got quiet in our home, we knew that one or more of them were up to no good, and so we would check on what was going on. Sure enough, our parental radar was right on target! Technology can be very beneficial, and can make our lives easier. But there is no technology that can or should replace meaningful relationships between parents and their kids.
So what do you think?
Is this the solution to correcting disobedient children? There is nothing new installing cameras around your home to protect yourself from theft or vandalism. And the "Nanny Cams" have been around for quite a while now to keep an eye on the babysitter. But the thrust of this commercial is different. It's about spying on your child as a means to change his or her bad behavior. My initial reaction was, "whatever happened to developing your child's character? Or reaching your child at his or her heart level so that they will learn self-control even when you are not present. Or how about simple trust between you and your children?" I find this troubling on so many levels. A child needs meaningful time spent with Mom and Dad, not a camera looking over their shoulder. My wife and I had a very effective tool for knowing when the kids were getting into trouble, silence. Whenever it got quiet in our home, we knew that one or more of them were up to no good, and so we would check on what was going on. Sure enough, our parental radar was right on target! Technology can be very beneficial, and can make our lives easier. But there is no technology that can or should replace meaningful relationships between parents and their kids.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
