Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Communicating Repsect in Marriage, Part 1

Last time I focused on how husband can communicate love to their wives. Today I want to encourage wives on some ways to communicate respect to their husband. Just as a woman wants to know that she is cherished by her man, a husband wants to know that he is respected by his wife. Certainly it is important for a wife to be respected, this is a more fundamental need for him. So let's look at some ways that a wife can do this.
Let me start by encouraging you to communicate your appreciation for who he is and what he does. Let him know that you see his hard work to help provide for his family, as well as the person he is to you and your children. Now I have to admit, no man thinks he is ever appreciated enough for what he does. Don't feed into that, but don't swing the pedulum so far the other way that he never hears any appreciation.
A second way to communicate respect is don't expect him to know what you are thinking, and then condemn him when he acts without regard to what you are thinking. I call this the ESP syndrome. Women think men have ESP and should know what they are thinking. Ladies, we aren't that smart! We need you to tell us. If you go down this path, you will simply frustrate him and he may eventually stop trying because he figures he can never win.
A third way to communicate respect is to support him when he takes a new initiative. It may be at work, at home, or with church, but start by listening to his thoughts and don't put it down right away, even if you think he is nuts. If you have concerns about it, give it a little time and start by asking questions that can help him to think it through more thoroughly. Certainly communicate your objections if there are clear reasons to be concerned. But don't allow that to undermine his need to know that you are with him as he takes a lead.
Next time I will share part 2 in how a man can more effectively communicate love to his wife.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul