One of the ways I minister in my community is to serve as a police chaplain for the Upper Southampton Police Department. They call upon me to help with needy people in the community, difficult calls involving death, suicide, serious injury, house fires or serious car accidents. I also build relationships with them through ride-alongs or other events. Ride-alongs also give me a unique perspective on the community and what the officers deal with on a daily basis.
A while back one of the officers asked me, "So why do you do this?" My answer was that I believe if Jesus were on the earth today he would spend time riding in police cars and hanging out with cops." "Really, how's that chaplain?" "Well, the first non-Jewish person converted to Christianity was a cop, and the Bible also says that Jesus was moved with compassion as he ministered to people because He saw them as distressed, downcast, and like sheep in need of a shepherd. Seems to me that is a good description of many of the people you deal with daily."
As a pastor and counselor, I could spend my entire day in the office with people who are already Christ followers. As nice and comfy as that might be, it prevents me from being salt and light in a world that needs to know the love of God. How can I be salt and light? By getting out of my office and spending time with people who are hurting.
How are you being salt and light? How do you see people, the person across the hall, the family next door, the people in the next cubicle at work, the students who sit next to you in class? My prayer is that I would see people as Jesus sees them, and do as He did. What about you? How are you making a difference?
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Confessions of a Smart Phone Junkie
The newest iPhone is out and I am sure you have seen the crazy long lines people are waiting in to get one. Last week I talked about some changes I made in my social media use, so so I thought this might be a good time to talk about how to know if you are spending too much time looking at your smart phone. So here are some of my thoughts and observations about this.
1. Most or All of Your Down Time for Yourself is Spent on Your Phone. You may be going to the bathroom, waiting in line, sitting in the airport, or just reclining in your favorite chair. Whatever or wherever it is, you are on your phone checking your email, on Facebook, surfing the internet, checking your fantasy football team.
2. Your Phone is the First Thing You Look at When you Wake Up and the Last Thing You Look at When You Go to Bed. Not only are experts suggesting some negative health aspects to this habit, but you really need to allow your body and mind to wind down when you are ready for bed. And as a Christ follower, I would suggest that checking in with God to start your day is much more eternally significant than seeing who tweeted what over night.
3. You Find Yourself Looking at Your Phone During Church (or other important occasions). I know my sermons are not always the most riveting, but looking at your phone during worship of your Creator, really?
4. You Check Your Phone at Red Lights. At least the car isn't moving, but this is not a good sign.
5. Even Worse, You Text or Check Your Phone While Driving. Take from a guy who has been to many accidents with the Fire Department, you are asking for trouble.
6. When the Plane is Ready to Take Off, You Get Anxious. You start feeing anxiety not because you are afraid to fly, but you are afraid of what you'll miss while your phone is in airplane mode.
7. You Consistently Have No New Items in Your Facebook Newsfeed. If this is you, you are definitely checking Facebook way too much.
8. You and Your Family are All on Your Smart Phones During Family Time. Whether its at the dinner table, watching a show together, or some other time, there is more taking place on your phones than meaningful conversation with each other.
Believe it or not, there researchers have identified "cell phone addiction" as an actual diagnosis for some people. I suggest that before you run out to the psychiatrist, you ask your family members, friends, and co-workers if they think you are on your smart phone too much. If they say yes, then take some common sense steps by doing the opposite of these eight signs of trouble.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
1. Most or All of Your Down Time for Yourself is Spent on Your Phone. You may be going to the bathroom, waiting in line, sitting in the airport, or just reclining in your favorite chair. Whatever or wherever it is, you are on your phone checking your email, on Facebook, surfing the internet, checking your fantasy football team.
2. Your Phone is the First Thing You Look at When you Wake Up and the Last Thing You Look at When You Go to Bed. Not only are experts suggesting some negative health aspects to this habit, but you really need to allow your body and mind to wind down when you are ready for bed. And as a Christ follower, I would suggest that checking in with God to start your day is much more eternally significant than seeing who tweeted what over night.
3. You Find Yourself Looking at Your Phone During Church (or other important occasions). I know my sermons are not always the most riveting, but looking at your phone during worship of your Creator, really?
4. You Check Your Phone at Red Lights. At least the car isn't moving, but this is not a good sign.
5. Even Worse, You Text or Check Your Phone While Driving. Take from a guy who has been to many accidents with the Fire Department, you are asking for trouble.
6. When the Plane is Ready to Take Off, You Get Anxious. You start feeing anxiety not because you are afraid to fly, but you are afraid of what you'll miss while your phone is in airplane mode.
7. You Consistently Have No New Items in Your Facebook Newsfeed. If this is you, you are definitely checking Facebook way too much.
8. You and Your Family are All on Your Smart Phones During Family Time. Whether its at the dinner table, watching a show together, or some other time, there is more taking place on your phones than meaningful conversation with each other.
Believe it or not, there researchers have identified "cell phone addiction" as an actual diagnosis for some people. I suggest that before you run out to the psychiatrist, you ask your family members, friends, and co-workers if they think you are on your smart phone too much. If they say yes, then take some common sense steps by doing the opposite of these eight signs of trouble.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Social Media Sanity
Over the last six weeks or so I have taken a step back from social media. I did not do a complete withdraw, just a step back, not as many Facebook posts, only one blog post, and I took the Facebook app off of my phone. I also made a commitment to not do as much with my smart phone when going through the course of my day, or when out with my wife and/or the family.
So what has this step back done for me? For me, it has given me a chance to evaluate how much of my time and my life I want to give to social media. As a marriage and family counselor, I am increasingly concerned about how much I see people excessively tied to their smart phone, tablet, etc. As I re-engage with twitter, my blog, and Facebook, I have decided to make some changes. The biggest change has been to keep the Facebook app off of my phone. This has kept me from being tempted from getting on Facebook at different times during the day. It has become a lot easier to limit getting on Facebook to once or twice a day. And this is a win for me. There is more to life than what is happening on the various forms of social media and the internet. So get our there and live it, instead of spending too much time reading about what others are doing.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
So what has this step back done for me? For me, it has given me a chance to evaluate how much of my time and my life I want to give to social media. As a marriage and family counselor, I am increasingly concerned about how much I see people excessively tied to their smart phone, tablet, etc. As I re-engage with twitter, my blog, and Facebook, I have decided to make some changes. The biggest change has been to keep the Facebook app off of my phone. This has kept me from being tempted from getting on Facebook at different times during the day. It has become a lot easier to limit getting on Facebook to once or twice a day. And this is a win for me. There is more to life than what is happening on the various forms of social media and the internet. So get our there and live it, instead of spending too much time reading about what others are doing.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Remembering 9-11
If you are like me, you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when your first heard about the attacks of 9-11. I hope you will take time to pray for the families of those who were murdered that day, pray for our nation. It is sad to me that after the initial flurry of flying our flag, people turning to God and returning to church, and coming together as Americans, we have so quickly forgotten. As we enter a new era of terrorism with Al Qaeda and now ISIS, we are reminded again that there is evil in this world. As much as we want to believe that people are basically good, and sometimes do wrong, the Bible is clear that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God," and the "heart of man is desperately wicked, who can understand it." It is my hope and prayer that this latest threat to our nation will be used of God to bring about a spiritual revival, a great awakening where many will come to faith in Christ, who is our only hope, "our refuge and strength and very present help in time of trouble."
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
A Retailer Who Understands Dads
I am tired of the way men and fathers are often portrayed in television commercials, movies, and television shows. Dad's are seen as bumbling idiots who need to be saved by their wives and their children. So how refreshing to see a retailer who understands that kids need a mom and dad, and need heroes to admire and emulate. It is great to see a company who realizes that its bad for business to alienate men by making fun of them. General Mills, the makers of Cherios, produced the following commercial and I, for one, am grateful for their portrayal of a dad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GYxH2-WeZY
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GYxH2-WeZY
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
How Much Lower Can We Sink?
When it comes to values in America today, our moral compass is pretty fouled up, and its not getting any better. Over the last few days I have been pretty disgusted with how some in our society treat those who serve and protect us. Here in Philly, a fast moving row home fire killed 4 children. A tragic and sad event for the parents, family, neighbors, and friends of those who died. As a parent, my heart goes out to them, I can only imagine the depth of their grief. Next thing you know, large groups of residents from the area are protesting in front of ladder 4, and Engine 40, the first trucks on the scene. Crazy rumors are running through the neighborhood accusing the fire department of taking 30 minutes to respond. I can understand people's grief, but I can't understand blaming the men who responded and put their lives on the line to extinguish that fire and try to save those kids. If there is one thing that gets to a firefighter, its not being able to save the life of a child. If people want to be angry, go to City Council and let them know how upset they are with the reduction in the number of fire houses and firefighters in the city. Don't go after the guys who came when you called 911.
The other incident involves the murder of rookie Jersey City police officer Melvin Santiago. He was ambushed by a man who said he wanted to kill a cop and be famous. He waited for the first officer to arrive, and then opened fire on officer Santiago. He was killed in an exchange of gun fire with other officers. The killer's widow was interviewed by a local TV news station and said her husband should have killed more officers. And then some in the community set up a memorial for the murderer.
So I ask, has our sense of community morality sunk so low that we memorialize cop killers and threaten firefighters? God help us all.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
The other incident involves the murder of rookie Jersey City police officer Melvin Santiago. He was ambushed by a man who said he wanted to kill a cop and be famous. He waited for the first officer to arrive, and then opened fire on officer Santiago. He was killed in an exchange of gun fire with other officers. The killer's widow was interviewed by a local TV news station and said her husband should have killed more officers. And then some in the community set up a memorial for the murderer.
So I ask, has our sense of community morality sunk so low that we memorialize cop killers and threaten firefighters? God help us all.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Dad
I have been thinking a lot about my dad lately, and not just because tomorrow is Father's Day. It has been a year and a half since he went home to be with the Lord. In many ways it still seems hard to wrap my head around the fact that he is not here anymore. I am grateful to have had a good relationship with him, unlike many people I counsel. It was not a perfect relationship, especially in the later years he could be stubborn, and as his illness progressed he became increasingly depressed. His disease turned the last years of his life into a long goodbye. But I still felt his love and support and for that I am very grateful.
One thing that I still admire is that he was as good a father as he was, considering that his father walked out on his family when my dad was teenager. Apparently my grandfather decided he was finished being a husband and father, and never returned. In fact, he broke off all communication with his family and my dad read about his death in the newspaper! I can't imagine how that impacted his life as a kid, but maybe that is why he put such effort into spending time with me and being there for me. And why he always seemed to have a heart for kids, especially the down and out ones, children living in poverty, and even the troubled kids he met during his time as a Philly police officer.
But today I find myself realizing how much I miss him. The man who taught me so much about what it means to be a man. A man of faith, a man of family, a man of integrity. The man who taught me how to ride a bike, to shoot a gun, to hunt and fish, to care for animals, especially dogs, to tune up a car and change the oil, to be generous toward others, and most important, the man who led me to faith in Christ. And I think I figured out why I am missing him today, a year and a half later. When dad was here, I always knew I had him to fall back on. If something broke, he knew how to fix it, or who to call to get it fixed. If I needed advice, I could call on him for it. If I needed someone to pray for me, and put all my cards on the table about it, he would hear me out and pray for me. Its like in the fire service when you advance a hose line into a burning building, you always have another firefighter with you who has your back. In the air force you always have a "wing man," another pilot in his plane to support you. In the army, soldiers talk about having each other's "6," another way of saying "I have your back."
But he's not here any more, he is with the Lord. I know the Lord is with me, and I have a great family. God is faithful, and I know my family are there for me as I am there for them. But it feels at times like I am flying solo without my most experienced wing man, advancing the hose line without that trusted back-up who has seen it all and has the charred helmet and well worn gear that says, "been there, done that." There's a hole there, an empty spot, a voice no longer heard.
Now that Dad is not here, and my children are adults, I am in the role my dad played in my adult life. Whoa, not sure I am ready for that yet! And so on this second Father's Day without him, I am grateful for the years we had, that he is with the Lord and no longer suffering, and hoping I can continue to follow his example. Love you Dad.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul,
One thing that I still admire is that he was as good a father as he was, considering that his father walked out on his family when my dad was teenager. Apparently my grandfather decided he was finished being a husband and father, and never returned. In fact, he broke off all communication with his family and my dad read about his death in the newspaper! I can't imagine how that impacted his life as a kid, but maybe that is why he put such effort into spending time with me and being there for me. And why he always seemed to have a heart for kids, especially the down and out ones, children living in poverty, and even the troubled kids he met during his time as a Philly police officer.
But today I find myself realizing how much I miss him. The man who taught me so much about what it means to be a man. A man of faith, a man of family, a man of integrity. The man who taught me how to ride a bike, to shoot a gun, to hunt and fish, to care for animals, especially dogs, to tune up a car and change the oil, to be generous toward others, and most important, the man who led me to faith in Christ. And I think I figured out why I am missing him today, a year and a half later. When dad was here, I always knew I had him to fall back on. If something broke, he knew how to fix it, or who to call to get it fixed. If I needed advice, I could call on him for it. If I needed someone to pray for me, and put all my cards on the table about it, he would hear me out and pray for me. Its like in the fire service when you advance a hose line into a burning building, you always have another firefighter with you who has your back. In the air force you always have a "wing man," another pilot in his plane to support you. In the army, soldiers talk about having each other's "6," another way of saying "I have your back."
But he's not here any more, he is with the Lord. I know the Lord is with me, and I have a great family. God is faithful, and I know my family are there for me as I am there for them. But it feels at times like I am flying solo without my most experienced wing man, advancing the hose line without that trusted back-up who has seen it all and has the charred helmet and well worn gear that says, "been there, done that." There's a hole there, an empty spot, a voice no longer heard.
Now that Dad is not here, and my children are adults, I am in the role my dad played in my adult life. Whoa, not sure I am ready for that yet! And so on this second Father's Day without him, I am grateful for the years we had, that he is with the Lord and no longer suffering, and hoping I can continue to follow his example. Love you Dad.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul,
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
