Teens and Social Media

I just read some interesting statistics on how much our teens are saturated with social media in our culture today.  According to the Center for Media Research, 90% of 13 to 17 year-olds have used some form of social media.  75% currently have a profile on a social networking site, and 20% have a Twitter account. The most popular place for social media is Facebook, with 68% saying they use it as their primary social networking platform.  Regarding their daily habits, 68% text every day, 51% visit social networking sites daily, 11% send or receive tweets at least once a day, and 34% visit their main social networking site several times a day.  Keep in mind, that none of this is texting, just social media.

Educators are noticing that the proliferation of texting and social media is having an impact on the way children write.  Instead of writing complete sentences, shortened phrases with abbreviations are creeping into the way kids write.  Also, penmanship seems to be suffering as well since kids are using keyboards and cellphone buttons instead of pen and paper.

For parents, it is vitally important for you to put limits on what your kids are doing on social media.  At what age do you think it is appropriate for your child to begin using social media, and what forms are acceptable to you?  This also means putting time limits on what they are doing, both in the amount of time spent, as well as when and how late your kids can be using it.  You should also give them guidance on what is acceptable and not regarding content.  Sexting (sending sexually provocative pictures) is an obvious example, but teaching your kids to be careful about communicating personal information is also important. Take time to teach your children manners regarding their use of social media when they are around other people. Finally, I strongly recommend that you be told of any and all social media outlets your kids are using and have 24-7 access to all of it.

Blessings,
Dr. Paul

A Story That Made Me Smile

With all of the bad news in the world, here is a story that brought a smile to my face.  It is taken verbatim from NBC's Today Show.  In light of 9-11, it renews your faith in our people.

An 11-year-old boy's anonymous donation to his local police department captured the heart of his community and is inspiring others. Police wanted to thank him for it — but first they had to do a little detective work.

Two days after the 12th anniversary of the terror attacks of Sept. 11, a boy walked into his local police station in Greenfield, Wis., and shook more than $10 in loose change out of his bag. He told the woman at the desk he wanted to make a donation to the police, but walked out before she could get his name. 

"You don't expect that every day: Little guy to walk in and throw up his change," Brittany Eickhorst, who was working at the desk, told NBC News. "You know most kids are saving up for an Xbox or this game or that. (It's) just really heartwarming."

Touched by the offering, Greenfield police wanted to thank the mystery boy. So they posted surveillance video of him leaving the money at the station on YouTube and their Facebook page, asking people to identify the benevolent stranger.

They discovered the boy was sixth-grader Max Siepert, who had heard stories in his social studies class about the courage of police and firefighters who responded to the Sept. 11th tragedy. Max also has a family connection to law enforcement, as explained on the Greenfield Police Department's Facebook page.

"We've learned our mystery donor is 11-year-old Max," the police department's Facebook post said. "Max donated the money in memory of his grandfather, a Milwaukee Police Department officer who was killed in the line of duty in 1974. Max rode his bike to the police station without his parents' knowledge and didn't expect the attention. THANK YOU MAX and THANK YOU to your grandfather for his sacrifice."

It turns out the freckle-faced redhead had been saving his money since April, raising some of it via backyard talent shows as well as by soliciting donations from friends and relatives. "One day that's going to make a difference. It might not be a really big difference but at least it's something," said Max, who was interviewed about his good deed by several local TV stations.

Greenfield Assistant Police Chief Paul Schlecht told TODAY.com that he's heard Max has inspired others to donate to the department, and the story has lifted morale. "It's heartwarming. It's nice to see something good instead of all the bad stuff we hear about," Schlecht said. 

An 11-year-old boy's anonymous donation to his local police department captured the heart of his community and is inspiring others. Police wanted to thank him for it — but first they had to do a little detective work.

Two days after the 12th anniversary of the terror attacks of Sept. 11, a boy walked into his local police station in Greenfield, Wis., and shook more than $10 in loose change out of his bag. He told the woman at the desk he wanted to make a donation to the police, but walked out before she could get his name. 

"You don't expect that every day: Little guy to walk in and throw up his change," Brittany Eickhorst, who was working at the desk, told NBC News. "You know most kids are saving up for an Xbox or this game or that. (It's) just really heartwarming."

Touched by the offering, Greenfield police wanted to thank the mystery boy. So they posted surveillance video of him leaving the money at the station on YouTube and their Facebook page, asking people to identify the benevolent stranger.

They discovered the boy was sixth-grader Max Siepert, who had heard stories in his social studies class about the courage of police and firefighters who responded to the Sept. 11th tragedy. Max also has a family connection to law enforcement, as explained on the Greenfield Police Department's Facebook page.

"We've learned our mystery donor is 11-year-old Max," the police department's Facebook post said. "Max donated the money in memory of his grandfather, a Milwaukee Police Department officer who was killed in the line of duty in 1974. Max rode his bike to the police station without his parents' knowledge and didn't expect the attention. THANK YOU MAX and THANK YOU to your grandfather for his sacrifice."

It turns out the freckle-faced redhead had been saving his money since April, raising some of it via backyard talent shows as well as by soliciting donations from friends and relatives. "One day that's going to make a difference. It might not be a really big difference but at least it's something," said Max, who was interviewed about his good deed by several local TV stations.

Greenfield Assistant Police Chief Paul Schlecht told TODAY.com that he's heard Max has inspired others to donate to the department, and the story has lifted morale. "It's heartwarming. It's nice to see something good instead of all the bad stuff we hear about," Schlecht said. 

Blessings,

Dr. Paul

Always Remember, Never Forget

September 11, our Pearl Harbor, our day which will live in infamy.  It has been 12 years since that fateful morning when our nation was attacked by muslim terrorists.   It is a day to fly our flag, pause to pray for those who lost a loved one, and for the families of the firefighters, police officers, and EMT's who gave their lives, and to share with our young children what happened.  Let's also remember the firefighters and police officers and other volunteers who worked in the the rescue and recovery efforts who are now suffering from the contaminates they breathed. It is important to recognize that freedom is never free, and days like today keep us from forgetting the price that has been paid.

Blessings,
Dr. Paul

MTV Music Award Insanity

To be honest, I have never been a fan of MTV, so I was not watching the MTV Music Awards program last night.  I woke up this morning to watch the news and one of the feature stories was about the show and the performances of a number of performers including Miley Cyrus.  I am not sure if this woman was on drugs, or feeling starved for attention, or what, but it was one of the most disgusting performances I have not had the pleasure of watching.  In fact, I could not watch it to the end, and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
A number of thoughts came to mind after watching what I could stomach of her performance.  First, what will she say to her children one day when they happen upon the video?  A moment to be proud of, for sure.  Second, she is a performer with thousands of young fans.  What message is this sending to them?  Third, what is her family thinking about this one?  And fourth, it is so sad to realize that our society that our society continues to reach new lows in what is considered entertainment.  It is no surprise that the morally informed leadership of MTV rated the show as appropriate for children as young as 14.  However, there is hope.  The NY Times actually was critical of the performance and cited a number of national media outlets that found it to be disturbing.
I hope we don't see anything like this any time soon from Miley or anyone else.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul

Want to Help Your Teen?

So parents of teenagers, how's it going for you?  It can be a challenge at times, but can also be a great blessing.  I know, I recently graduated from being the parent of three teens.  Our youngest is now 21, so I have been there, done that.  I am grateful that all of our kids are followers of Jesus, none got hooked on drugs or alcohol, and I am not an unexpected grandparent.
Now you may be asking, "what's the secret Paul?"  Not sure I can give you a comprehensive answer, but I can share one thing that worked.  My wife and I made it a priority to have dinner together as a family at least 4 nights a week, and we tried for 5 or 6 nights a week as much as possible.  I have long been a believer in the benefits of this simple practice.  Recently the latest study confirming this has been published by Columbia University's Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse.  It found that teens who have dinner with their parents 3 or fewer times a week are 4 times more likely to smoke tobacco, twice as likely to drink alcohol, 2.5 times more likely to smoke pot, and 4 times as likely to say they will try drugs in the future as those who gather for dinner 5 to 7 times a week with their parents. 
Give it a try, over time it will make a difference.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul

When Are You Happiest?

Now that I am back from vacation, I came across a study that looked at when people are happiest in terms of their age.  Can you guess at what age people say they are happiest?  Can you guess at what age people are the least happy?  A study of 23,100 people between the ages of 17 and 85 was recently completed by the Center for Economic Performance at the London School of Economics.  They found that people age 23 and 69 are the happiest.  Can you guess why?  At age 23, most people have finished their education and are most optimistic about their future.  They have their whole adult life ahead of them.  At age 69, most people have gotten past of their regret over unrealized life dreams and goals, but also are not facing the same degree of health decline as older seniors.
So let's talk about at what age people are the least happy.  The same study found that people in their early to mid-fifties are the saddest.  People in their early fifties are taking stock of their lives and many experience regret about things they have done and sorrow over the unrealized dreams.  Speaking as someone in his early fifties, I might add that my body is not as fast, flexible and fit as it once was, so it wouldn't surprise me if this is at work as well.  But don't despair, because the study also reports that happiness begins to increase after 55 until the final peak at 69.  But then it is down in the dumps again when people get past age 75.
Wouldn't be great if we could experience happiness regardless of a person's age?  I think Jesus had an answer for this.  In John chapter 15 Jesus compares himself to a vine, His Father as the vinedresser, and His followers as the branches.  I am the vine, you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5).  Jesus is asserting here that He is the source of a fruitful life, and notice here is no age limitation placed on it.  What does having a relationship with Jesus have to do with happiness.  Jesus answers this in verse 11, These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.  
Something to think about at any age!
Blessings,
Dr. Paul

Why Dad's Matter

Today our society does a lot to undermine the importance of dads and men.  Our culture has been overly feminized.  We don't let boys be boys.  The media men often portrays men as either over violent killing and mayhem machines, or as bumbling idiots who need to be corrected or rescued by their wives or children.  There are women who chose to have a child without a father.  Or in the attempt to redefine marriage in the so-called “gay marriage” movement, you will have children adopted and raised by two women.  When God designed marriage and family, He designed it to be a man and a woman who commit to the covenant of marriage, and then, as God wills, have children.  Every child needs a mom and a dad.  Every child. 

Let me illustrate this.  A few years ago I was speaking on family issues at Sandy Cove in Maryland.  A woman came up to me after my presentation to talk to me about her grandson.  She brought him for the kids program hoping it would help him.  He was doing poorly in school, he was hanging with a bad crowd, got caught with pot, and admitted to drinking.  In tears she asked me what she could do to help him.  I said, “Before I answer your question, let me ask a couple of questions. First, where is his dad?”  She said, “He has been out of the picture for many years now.  How did you know to ask that question?” 

Where’s dad?  Men, you have a vital role to play in your marriage, in your family, and in our society, and don’t let anyone diminish that.  Research in early childhood development has discovered that even dad’s rough housing with their children is vitally important to their development.  Researchers from the University of Newcastle in Australia found that between the ages of 2.5 to 5, dad’s playing with their kids and being rough and tumble with them helps their brains develop the ability to manage emotion, thinking, and their physical body.  Self-regulation, and the ability of children to learn discipline is a key stage in their development and has important implications for their later adult years.  Scientists have also discovered that oxytocin, the chemical that is released in a child when it is nursing with his mother, is also released when dads play rough and tumble with their children.

So men, dads, don't let anyone tell you that you don't matter, you do.  Let me end with these words of challenge from Nehemiah, chapter 4, Don't be afraid.  Remember the Lord your God who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.

Blessings,

Dr. Paul