Hitting the Marriage Jackpot

The last few days have been all about the most recent Power Ball jackpot which reached over $550 million.  Unfortunately, the chances of hitting the big jackpot were calculated to be 1 in 75 million.  By comparison, your chances of being hit by lightning are only 1 in 5000. Not very good odds, to say the least.  For those of you who are married, I would like to suggest a better basket to put your eggs in.

Winning a lottery is simply a matter of luck.     You can't buy marital happiness or success, just look at how many rich people get divorced.   And let's say you did win the jack pot, I am sure you have heard the stories of how you wind up having more friends and relatives than you ever realized, and how many couples who win eventually get divorced.

Good marriages take time and work, they don't just happen.  There are no shortcuts or magic formulas. Over the years various surveys have been taken which ask happily married couples of various ages what makes their marriage so good.  Regardless of the survey or the age of the participants, the number one answer is consistently the same. And it has nothing to do with money.  The number one answer as to why couples are happily married is "my spouse is my best friend."  This answer certainly means that the husband and wife are spending plenty of quality time together, and they are making the effort required to be best friends.

So my question to you is this, how much time and effort are you investing in your marriage?

Blessings,
Dr. Paul

God's Plan for Restoration

There is a lot of talk about politics and government these days and for good reason, we are about to elect the next president.  It is important for all of us to be informed and to vote.  I started reading a book yesterday which reminded me that as important as this election is, and as important as government may be (with the understanding of our forefathers that "the government that governs best, governs least"), that the hope for restoration is not found in government.  It is found in a place populated by the people of God, flawed as they may be.  Bill Hybels in his book Courageous Leadership, lays out his vision for God's plan for restoration:
There is nothing like the local church when it's working right.  Its beauty is indescribable.  Its power is breathtaking.  Its potential is unlimited.  It comforst the grieving and heals the broken in the context of community.  It builds bridges to seekers and offers truth to the confused.  It provides resources for those in need and opens it arms to the forgotten, the downtrodden, the disillusioned.  It  breaks the chains of addicitons, frees the oppressed, and offers belonging to the marginalized of this world.  Whatever the capacity for human suffering, the church has a greater capacity for healing and wholeness. 
God's church can do what government can never do, speak to the heart in a way that changes a life. When you pray for the upcoming election, take some time to also pray for spiritual revival and awakening.  It will make all the difference.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul

A Powerful Prayer

The last few weeks have been very challenging as both of my parents were in the hospital at the same time.  Mom was scheduled for hip revision surgery and dad developed an infection and had a fall.  Mom is now home and dad is in St. Joseph's Manor.  On top of that, it is a very busy time at church as we gear up for the fall ministry season.  Throw in some fire calls, police call-outs, and you have a recipe for some long days.  Prayer has always been an important part of my life, and a great source of strength and peace when times get tough.  Recently I have been using a prayer that is very ancient and was first prayed by Patrick, the man who brought the Gospel to Ireland.  I learned of last month during the Willow Creek Leadership Summit I attended with some of our staff and leaders from Davisville Church.  Here is his prayer:
As I arise today, may the strength of God pilot me, the power of God uphold me, the wisdom of God guide me, may the eye of God look before me, the ear of God hear me, the Word of God speak for me. 
May the hand of God protect me, the way of God lie before me, the shield of God defend me, the host of God save me. May Christ shield me today.  Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit, Christ when I stand.  Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in the ear of everyone who hears me.  Amen.  
I am not big on reciting pre-written prayers, but I hope you will find this thoughtful prayer an inspiration for your prayer relationship with God.  I am using it not to recite word for word, but to mediate on and to inspire my own prayers.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul

Young Millennials and Faith

Millennials is a term used to define people born in the late 1980's up to about 2000.  They are also known as Generation Y.  According to the Millennial Values Survey, many of the youngest Millennials are leaving their childhood faith and becoming mostly unaffiliated.  Many 18 to 24 year old Americans are rejecting religious doctrine and orthodoxy in general.  About 24 percent do not identify with any religion.
Jess Rainer recently co-authored a book on Millenials and is a member of that generation himself.  Here are some of his thoughts about this topic.  Millennials that enter churches only to find infighting and large amounts of negativity will become frustrated, leave, and avoid the church altogether. Those Millennials with minimal religious convictions will let go of them in order to maintain peace in their own lives.

I mentioned before that I am not the typical Millennial, so I see the church in a different light. The few Millennials that hold strong religious convictions desire to see the church change in a more positive, outward, and deeper theological direction. We are willing to maintain our convictions and work through disagreements in civil way in order greater God's Kingdom.

Those who match my Evangelical convictions only make up around 6 percent of the entire Millennial generation. But the other 94 percent of the our generation are not against the church or organized religion. In fact, using the very broad definition of Christian, 65 percent of the Millennials claimed it as their religious preference. Without using too many more numbers, approximately 85 percent of the Millennials are indifferent to the church.

So how do we reach Millennials with the Gospel?  Rainer's response:  There are two different groups of Millennials that churches need to be aware of: the 85 percent group and the 15 percent group. As mentioned previously, 85 percent of Millennials are not Christians. And its these non-Christian Millennials that are indifferent to the church. Churches need to understand that they are not on the radar of non-Christian Millennials. It will take an intentional effort to reach our generation.

A great place to start to reach non-Christian Millennials is to simply invite them. When asked, these Millennials will attend church with a friend.

Also try to find a way to connect the Millennials to their Christian parents. Millennials are seeking advice and guidance from their parents on a regular basis.

Additionally, leaders must be transparent, humble, and have integrity. It's these leaders that need to demonstrate the deep meaning of following Christ.

And how do we retain the 15% of Millennials who are believers?

The Christian Millennials want to see churches challenge themselves. "Church-as-usual" is no longer effective in retaining Christian Millennials. Churches need to start with deep biblical teaching. Watering down scriptural truth will only cause Christian Millennials to look for another church. There has to be an outward focus as well. Churches need to commit to investing in their communities, love the nations, and direct revenue outwardly. Christian Millennials, like their counterpart, want to see leaders who demonstrate transparency, humility, and integrity.
It's not an easy task to reach the Millennial generation. I am experiencing these difficulties first hand as I reach out to our generation with my church plant. At the same time, I am seeing a small group of younger believers start to desire deeper teaching and community involvement. One of the biggest misconceptions is Millennials are unwilling to commit themselves to the church. It's this small group that is becoming more committed each week. Millennials want to radically commit themselves to something. There is nothing more radical than a true follower of Christ.
I hope we can all commit at the very least to praying for Millennials and then add seeking to build relationships with them.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul

How Great is Our God

Instead of a written blog, I am giving you a link to a pod cast of a message I gave recently at Davisville Church and Calvary Memorial Church.  The message is How Great is Our God and is based in Psalm 139.  I hope it will inspire and inform you.  Here is the link: http://davisvillechurch.podomatic.com/player/web/2012-08-05T16_50_05-07_00

Blessings,
Dr. Paul

Olympic Counter Culture Sexuality

I have been enjoying the Olympics over the last 2 weeks.  It is amazing to watch what these athletes can do.  And they make it look so easy.  One of the Team USA olympians getting a lot of attention is Lori "Lolo" Jones.  She is an accomplished athlete who has won 3 NCAA titles, 11 All-American honors during her time at LSU running track and field.  She competed in the 2008 Olympics in the 100 meter hurdles and did the same this year    just coming short of getting a bronze medal.  There is a lot of drama surrounding her place on the team leading up to her race.  

But what many in the media focused on in the days leading to her competition was not her athletic ability, but her virginity.  Just like Tim Tebow, the media seems amazed when any accomplished, good looking adult choses to remain abstinent.  Both of these athletes have helped to put a new face on abstinence.  And the amazement surrounding their choice reveals how countercultural the biblical view of sexuality really is.  Being a virgin isn't just a fate left for nerdy, unattractive, pathetic people who were raised by puritanical Christian parents.  It is a real choice selected by accomplished adults who are good looking, head turning attractive.  

Loir was interviewed on HBO and said this about her decision to remain abstinent: “It’s just a gift I want to give my husband. But please understand this journey has been hard. There’s virgins out there and I want to let them know that it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics. Harder than graduating from college has been to stay a virgin before marriage. I’ve been tempted, I’ve had plenty of opportunities.”  Sounds like this is a woman who discipline, self-control, who takes biblical morality seriously.  Even when it is not an easy path to follow.  And to Lori, a path more difficult than training for the Olympics.  

God created us as sexual beings to enjoy this experience.  God, our creator, also established that the place for sex to be enjoyed is in marriage.  Why?  Is God a cosmic kill joy who gives us a desire and then limits when He says we can have it? No, and let me illustrate it by looking at the Olympics, specifically swimming.  The Olympic committee requires that each swimmer must have a clearly defined lane within which they must compete.  Why?  Imagine that there were no lane lines and when the gun sounded, swimmers jumped in from various locations on the sides and started swimming in any direction.  The result would be chaos and even injury to the swimmers.  The lane lines protect each swimmer from interference and provides the best opportunity for the swimmer to succeed.  

God has done the same thing with sexuality.  He places it in the confines of marriage to protect us from harm and to provide the best place for it to be enjoyed. Marriage protects you from sexually transmitted diseases and the guilt and pain that can come from the "one night stand" and other sexual encounters.  Sex once a couple is marriage provides a context of unconditional love and commitment for the couple.  

So instead of looking at Lori Jones as an idiot, it seems to me that she is a lot wiser than the people who seem bent on making fun of her.  

Blessings,
Dr. Paul  

Team Work

This weekend I have been enjoying some of the Olympics from London.  Watching the Olympics you see a lot about the importance of team work.  Each person doing his or her job, contributing to the effort to win a medal. As the commentator put it about one of the U.S. olympians, "He has the ability to go all the way but he has no thoughts about it now, it is all about the team." Tonight it was the men's free style swimming relay and the women's gymnastics team. And of course, we are rooting for Team USA as we look at these amazing performances!  

Team work is also essential to a family.  This was brought home to me again this weekend.  We had a medical situation with one of the grandparents.  Yes, my wife and I are in the "sandwich generation," dealing with aging parents as we move to the finish line raising our children.  Thankfully everything worked out and God was faithful.  

As I reflect on everything that happened, it was such a blessing to see the members of my family work together as a team.  It is great to know that  your spouse and your kids have your back and are willing to step up and do what needs to be done.  Times of adversity and stress will show what your family is made of.  So often the commentators for the various olympic events talk about how the difference in the athlete's performance comes down to how the person deals with stress.  

So let me ask you a question, how does your family handle adversity? When times get stressful, do you pull together or get pulled apart?  My family is far from perfect, but what helps us pull together is our shared commitment to Jesus.  This gives us a common foundation to build on as we all seek to put Jesus first and not ourselves.  I suggest to you that if your family gets pulled apart during times of difficulty, that your family needs a deeper connection to God before those times arise, so that you are better equipped to deal with them when they happen. 

Blessings,

Dr. Paul