Relationship Resolution for a New Year

So as we bring 2014 to a close, have you made any resolutions for the New Year?  Eat better, exercise, quit smoking, get out of debt, get back to church are a few that I have heard.  I'd like to encourage you to think about the important relationships in your life and what you can do make that relationship a higher priority in 2015. Your spouse, your children, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your fiance.  It is so easy to take that relationship for granted and be complacent about it.

Here are some ideas to consider to make that relationship stronger.  Pray for your relationship, and also pray for that person regularly. Make it a priority to spend more meaningful time together.  That may mean giving something up to carve out more time for that.  Ask him/her what you can do to improve the relationship.  You may be surprised at what you hear!  Think of what you can do or say to encourage them with what is important in their life, their schooling, their work, and important goal they are seeking to achieve, etc.  

There are lots of practical things you can do, what matters most is deciding that the relationship is important enough to give it your time, attention and effort.  If there is one thing I have learned in 30 years of marriage, ministry, and marriage counseling, it is this:  marriage takes work, it doesn't just happen.  And this is true of any significant relationship in your life.  How much effort will give it in 2015?

Blessings,
Dr. Paul

The Thin Blue Line

Last night I heard the news that two NYPD officers were assassinated in their patrol car by a lone gunman who later committed suicide.  After all of the protests and negative press about the two grand jury decisions, it was only a matter of time before something like this would happen.  Last week a comic in a local paper featured a group of black children asking Santa to protect them from the police.  Serving as a police chaplain, and having counseled and ministered to many police officers over the years, I see what these men and women have to deal with.  Most people have no clue, and yet so many are so quick criticize.  In one city, a councilman actually wants to have a policy where police officers will not be permitted to drawl their weapon or shoot until a criminal shoots at the officer first.  As I thought about the murder of these two officers in light of a local protest that took place, I was moved write the following Facebook post.  

Praying for the families of NYPD officers Liu and Ramos, and their colleagues. A striking contrast comes to my mind. This morning channel 6 featured the latest "die in" out on the main line, this afternoon two NYPD officers died in their patrol car. The first group have nothing to fear if they stay within the law, the second gave their lives enforcing the law. The first group had their right to free speech protected by the very people they are protesting, the second have their voices silenced, never to be heard again. The first gets to go home, the second to a funeral home. For the first it will be just another Christmas, for the second, there will be no more Christmas. For the families of the first, there was celebrating and high fives that they got their minute on the news, for the families of the second, there was shock and tears and grief at the news given by a commander and a chaplain. I don't begrudge the first group, but when I see the sacrifice of the second, it reminds me how much we all need to appreciate those who put the uniform on and put their lives on the line.

Blessings,
Dr. Paul

Remembering Dad

Today is a bittersweet day for me as it is the second anniversary of his passing.  I am grateful for his legacy of faith and that he is with the Lord.  But I miss him, and spent some extra time with Mom today who said to me, "They say the first year is the worst, but that isn't true.  I think about him every day."  Its funny to me the different things that get me thinking about him.  When I use a certain tool or piece of equipment that was his.  When I drive past St. Joseph's Manor where he spent the last couple months of his life, or the old neighborhood.  When I see a schnauzer dog like he used to have.  A favorite movie of his, or going to the range and shooting with one of his guns.  Some of these bring a smile, and some bring a tear.

The holidays meant a lot to my dad and are always a time to remember him.  This Christmas will be the first time we go to Mom's and it isn't in their home now that she has moved to her apartment.  But we will still be thinking of him.  This will be his third Christmas with the Lord, and I can't imagine what it is like to be worshipping there.  And that is the ultimate comfort for me.  He is truly home, and is no longer frustrated by a body that was wearing out and letting him down.

Everyone experiences grief and loss differently.  I am not suggesting that my experience is the way that you must or should deal with it.  But thankfully for the Christ follower, death is not the final chapter, the end of the story.  It is a transition, from this life of sin and sorrow, to life eternal with our creator.  As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15, O death where is your victory, O grave, where is your sting.  Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through out Lord Jesus Christ.

Be hopeful, be hopeful in this season of Christmas, as we celebrate the one who was born to die that we might have this victory.

Blessings,
Dr. Paul