Wednesday, December 26, 2012

A Father's Legacy

To end this year I am posting the text of my tribute to my dad that I gave at his funeral, A Father's Legacy.

When I think about my Dad, the word that come's to mind is legacy.  Dad gave me and my family an incredible legacy that will impact generations to come.  So let me tell you a little bit about my Dad and what he meant to me as his son.


A Legacy of Faith

He was born on May 23, 1935 at his parent’s home on 713 Stanwood Street in Philadelphia. When my dad was 14 he had a life changing experience.  He went to Pine Brook Camp and heard the gospel and made a commitment of faith in Jesus as his savior.  When he came home from camp, my grandmother was thrilled, my grandfather was not happy at all.  Eventually my grandfather left the family and never had contact with them again.   This was very hard for Dad, but he continued to out his faith in many ways.  Dad started a Bible study group in Lincoln High School.  He helped with Youth rallies, playing the saxophone. 

After graduating from Lincoln High School, he went to Philadelphia College of Bible and King’s College.  At King’s dad worked in the maintenance department and learned to be very handy with electrical, plumbing and basic carpentry.  I always admired dad’s ability to fix just about anything.  After graduating from college, God continued to lead him and he decided to pursue the ministry and enrolled in the Reformed Episcopal Seminary.   

Dad was a man of faith who sought to live what he preached.  I can tell you that he does not want us to mourn his loss, but to celebrate that he is with the Lord who he lived for and in the heaven he preached about.   

A Legacy of Love

While he was a seminary student, Bethany Temple Church in Philadelphia was looking for an assistant pastor and offered him the position. This led to the most momentous meeting of his life, next to the Lord.  Sitting in church that first Sunday was a lovely young woman by the name of Joan Walker.  Now it is important to note that Dad was 6 foot 5, and Mom is 6 foot 2.  Mom was sitting with some girlfriends and they all told my Mom, “Look at him Joan, you gotta get this guy!”  There was a receiving line to meet the new assistant pastor.  As they shook hands, Dad said, “Boy, you have cold hands.”  Mom replied without skipping a beat, “Yes, but I have a warm heart.”  Mom will tell you she fell for his smile and his dreamy eyes. 

They started dating and were married on December 27, 1958.    Next week would have been their 54th wedding anniversary.  What a legacy of love that we can all admire! 
  
A Legacy of Ministry and Service

During Dad’s time in seminary, he took a tour for local clergy of Philadelphia Police Headquarters. The idea occurred to him that police officers come in contact with people, especially troubled youth, that normally don’t attend church and Sunday School.  Dad had a heart for kids and thought the church could do a better job helping kids and families in trouble.  So after seminary he went to the Philadelphia Police Academy.  He earned a sharpshooter award and was top in his class in judo.  He became the first ordained minister in the Philadelphia Police Department.  The Philadelphia Bulletin did an article on his work and called him “The minister with a badge.”  I was talking to Rev. Mel Floyd this week, who joined the department after my dad.  He remarked that dad was trailblazer for combining ministry with a career in law enforcement. 

Dad started out as a patrol officer in the 26th district.  During his second year on the street he was severely injured when a drunk driver hit the police motorcycle he was riding.  He eventually recovered and finished his time on street patrol in a red car (Mom said no more motorcycles).  Later he transferred to Juvenile Aid Division where he finished out his time with the department.    He got to know pastors around the city and sought to connect troubled kids with church youth ministries. He also pastored a small church in Southwest Philadelphia, Reconciliation Church, and later St. Marks Church in Rydal. 

Out of his frustration with the huge case loads in JAD, Dad became a state parole officer.  The idea here was to get them as they are coming out, instead of when they are going in.  The case loads were smaller and it gave dad the chance to have longer contact with the men and women on parole and their families.  It was still dangerous work, especially making arrests for parole violations.   But Dad sought to make a difference in the lives of his parolees.  After Dad retired as a parole agent, worked for Montgomery County Coroner’s Office as an investigator. 

A Legacy of Fatherhood. 

As proud as I am of my dad, this is what matters most to me.  As busy as he was, Dad always had time for me. Dad was the one who taught me to ride a bike, hit and throw a baseball, fish and hunt.  He taught me how to drive.  Before I got a permit, he let me drive the family car on the church parking lot after I washed it.  Mom wasn’t thrilled with this, especially when he was in the kitchen while I drove. He taught tune up my first car, a 68 Plymouth satellite 2 door with a 318 engine. He taught me about the birds and the bees, in fact, I think we had 3 talks about that!   
Dad was a gun guy and a gadget guy.  He was a certified pistol, rifle, and shotgun instructor, a life member of the NRA, and a police firearms instructor for the Parole Department.  Dad taught me gun safety and how to shoot.  I remember many hours with him at the target range or out in the field hunting.  When I was a teenager, I developed an interest in short wave radio (I am also a gadget guy).  Once again, Dad used it as an opportunity to spend time with me.  So he suggested that we take classes to become licensed ham radio operators.  When we passed our FCC test, we sent in our applications together and got consecutive call signs, Dad was WB3HHO and I am WB3HHP. 

The most important thing God instilled in me is faith.  When I was 6 years old, one day I was sitting on my dad’s lap.  I had questions about God and he prayed with me to accept Christ as my savior.  Dad was always supportive of me and was always willing to talk about anything.  He was a big man, but always approachable. Dad had a great sense of humor.  He loved to joke and tease.  He relished that as I got older, he had more hair than me.  He was very generous and gave to his church, many missions and other causes.  He also helped many people quietly through the years. 

Dad was so excited when I proposed to Phyllis.  He took to her right away and said she was the daughter he never had.  He loved her as his own.  He loved to spoil her.  He also loved getting to know Phyllis’ family, especially her brothers Joe and Steve.  And then when we started having our children, he was the proudest grandpa on the planet.  If you look at the family pictures, you can see his biggest smiles are when he is holding one of our kids.  Dad was a great prayer warrior for all of us.  Always asking what he could pray about.  He is so proud of each of his grandchildren.  He loved spending time with us in Cape May and treating us to great meals, breakfast at McGlade's, dinner at Lucky Bones or special occasions at the Washington Inn.  

Dad loved animals and especially birds and dogs.  He had a dog much of his life.  In his later years he gravitated toward schnauzers.  Dad absolutely spoiled his dog.  One friend said that if he believed in reincarnation, he would want to come back as Dad’s dog.    

Over the last 10 years dad developed a rare, genetic, nuero-muscular disease called adrenomyelone nuropathy.  In the last four years it took more and more from him.  For us as a family, living with someone with AMN is like a very long goodbye, especially since late August. But dad was very determined and fought it all the way.  But he also was clear that he wanted to leave this world on his terms.  We transferred Dad to hospice last Friday, and Dad was completely aware of what this meant.  He faced his impending death with the same guts he displayed on the streets of Phildadelphia. Over the weekend we all had times to talk to him and tell him how much we love him.  He is now free from a body that was simply giving out on him.  Thanks Dad for your legacy, I know it will continue for generations to come.   I love you and we will miss you.