Three Days in Seattle

I know I promised some more thoughts about changes in marriage and family in today's society, but I unexpectedly found myself in Seattle this week. I spent three days in Seattle with Mike Wilkerson and Justin Holcomb from the pastoral staff of Mars Hill Church, Pastor Robert Cheong from Sojourn Church in Louisville, KY, and Tom Kim, the director of a new ministry, Churches Helping Churches.

The reason for these meetings was to plan a conference for pastors in Haiti next month. The purpose is to minister to their needs, and then to encourage and equip them to minister to their congregations and the people of Haiti. Soon after the earthquake, Pastor Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill, and Pastor James MacDonald of Harvest Bible Chapel in Chicago flew to Haiti and were so moved by the devastation that they decided to start a new ministry, Churches Helping Churches.

So you ask what is my connection with all of this? Mark Wilkerson from MHC attended a seminar I gave in 2007 at the CCEF national conference on Responding to Disaster and Crisis. Mike called me last week and asked for me to join their planning team for the conference because of my experience in working with pastors and missionaries, and my work to develop a biblically based response to traumatic stress. So within a week of the first call, I found myself in the offices of Mars Hill Church located in a converted waterfront warehouse with a group of four other men who I didn’t know, putting together a 5 day program for Haitian pastors in crisis. Even though we come from diverse backgrounds, there was an uncanny unity in Christ as we focused on the task at hand. It was a priviledge to work with these men.

In about a month the team will be flying into Port of Prince to minister and provide biblical counseling to a group of 200 pastors. We will be working with STEP seminary at a yet to be determined location (the seminary was partially destroyed). Make no mistake about it, Haiti right now makes just about any other place poverty stricken country in the world look like a palace. Most of the displaced people are living in tent cities ranging in size from 800 to 15,000. Tom Kim has been to Haiti a number of times since the earthquake. He told us heart breaking stories of pastors who are simply shell shocked at the loss, not only for their communities and churches, but in their own lives. One pastor lost all five of his children. Another pastor walks around what’s left of his church building each day crying out to God. While the UN and other relief agencies are working to provide for the physical needs of the people, there is NO organized effort by any other organization to provide help for the pastors, or biblical counseling in traumatic stress (even among secular organizations, there is very little work to provide counseling support to the people). Please keep the team in prayer as we reach out to the church in Haiti. To find out more about Churches Helping Churches, go to their web site, www.churcheshelpingchurches.org, or you can find them on Facebook and Twitter. God be the glory! More to follow on this.

Blessings,

Dr. Paul

The Changing Face of Family Life

The family is changing in America today, like it or not. Let's take a look at some of the most significant changes taking place today. It is important for Christians to understand and respond to these changes in ways that don't compromise the truths of the gospel, but make the gospel more effective in speaking to the way family functions today.
Delaying Marriage: The average age of first marriage for men today is now 27 years old, and for women, it is now 25 years of age. During the 1970's, married couples in their 20's were the majority, but are now not the norm. For people in their 20's, the nrom is for them to be unmarried. For people in their 30's and 40's, a larger minority, 1/3, are single or divorced. Because so many other aspects of young adult life are affected by marital status, including the timing and having of children, housing needs, jobs and economic demands, and relationships with parents and friends, this is a tremendously significant shift in American family life. When it comes to faith, religious practice is especially influenced by marrying, settling down, and raising children. Individuals who marry are more likely to attend religious services regularly than those who delay marriage.
Having Fewer Kids and Having Them Later in Life: Because of the first factor, delayed marriage, married couples are having fewer children, and having them later in life. The average number of births per woman is 2, and 19% of women now have no children. The median age when women give birth has never been higher, 24.5 years of age, and more women age 35 t0 39, and 40 to 44 are having children. A century ago, women in their 30's and 40's would be giving birth to their fourth or fifth child, now it is their first or second.
Decreasing Number of Children in a Two-Parent Home: In 2006, 67% of children were living with both parents, a decline of 18% in 20 years. In 2006, 29% were living with one parent, a 16% increase in the last 20 years. This is another very disturbing trend as every child developes best with a mom and a dad.
In my next post, I will share some additional changes in family life today, and conclude this series with how you as an individual, and the church as a whole can respond in a meaningful way.
Blessings,
Dr. Paul